A Death worth living for

In his prayer about being an instrument of peace, St. Francis mentions that "it is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life." Who has the time as a mother to think about death?  Most days it was all I could do stay alive, stay sane and to still be standing at the end of the day. 

Sanctification - the act of making someone or something holy, or the process of setting apart for a sacred purpose - was not a word in my vocabulary until I became a mother.  When I was “in the trenches” of motherhood, sleep deprived and hanging on by a thread, I began to understand that this job of motherhood would offer me something that no other job could: infinite chances every day to be sanctified.  I realized that this motherhood gig could indeed offer many opportunities for me to sacrifice and “die to self”.  Some days though, this seemed to be an order only for a person with superpowers.

 In order to be a living sacrifice I had to acknowledge I could only do it with God.  I had to keep on praising Him. I think the Word is speaking directly to moms when it says, “Let us continue to offer to God a sacrifice of praise- the fruit of the lips that confess His name." (Heb 13:15-16).  This “sacrifice of praise” stuff can stop us in our mothering tracks and make us think.  I remember a time when I was caring for my whole family who had the flu, while I had the flu.  The last thing on my mind was to offer up praise.  You can be sure thanks wasn't the first thing on the list of things that I would put in the category of "fruit from my lips”.  Ok, maybe I could conjure up a possible thanks for helping me break the world record for most gallons of hot tea made in 3 days. But I pushed the limits and tried to offer praise and I found that the times I offered up that sacrifice of praise, were the times when I could start to feel His joy and light.  I was able to look at my daughters and thank Him for the health we did have.  Instead of being frustrated for them hacking all over the furniture, I was able to be thankful for the fact that they could talk.  This is where sacrifice and joy can weave together to create a beautiful picture where initially we may just see smudges.

 If the kids don’t give us enough opportunities in our day to offer sacrifices, we can look no further than our spouses.  There are many times I don't want to do something for Michael but I do because I know it will bring him a smile or make his life a little easier.  These life-giving actions can go a long way in a relationship. That is how it is too with my relationship with God.  To offer Him praise even when I "don't want to" brings me closer to Him and the joy He wants for me. 

Luke reported Jesus saying, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.”(Matthew 16:25)  As a mother, I have multiple chances a day (or minute) to “take up my cross” and to “lose” my life. Making meals, lending a listening ear, wiping tears, cleaning up, laughing and lightening moods, driving miles upon miles to many activities, offering help when needed, not to mention the important jobs of teaching simple skills, instilling values and faith formation….the opportunities are endless.  The “self” we are dying to is the “selfish” tendencies we naturally have as a human being.  It’s hard to put someone else’s needs above our own, but when we do we die to self.    When we die to self, we’re like that kernel of wheat that Jesus refers to in John 12:24-26:  “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed.  But it if dies, it produces many seeds.”  When I die to myself and my selfish desires, I plant seeds that will grow in God’s time and will pave the path to eternity.   Dying to self…now, that’s a death that I want to make time for while I’m living here on Earth!